Massage for Gay and Bi Men

Massage oil and lubricant

Most important in my toy box is a good massage oil and a lubricant with good consistency. There are big differences in how they feel and what effects they have. Primarily I use:
– water-based lubricant
– silicone lubricant
– massage oil
– oil-based lubricants

A water-based lubricant

A water-based lubricant can be used for almost everything. High-quality lubricant has a good consistency, is odorless and tasteless and is safe for sex, with condoms and sex toys. I prefer to use the lubricant Mister B Lube.

This lubricant is not suitable for massages as it dries very quickly. During sex, it feels great in the beginning, but after a few minutes, it has to be applied again because it dries quickly and becomes sticky.
Most water-based lubricants are also suitable for oral sex and can be swallowed without hesitation. However, it is not recommended to consume a whole bottle at once – well, no food for the break.

– is compatible with condoms/sex toys
– easy to remove with water (water-soluble)
– feels (the first minutes) great
– inexpensive

– becomes dry and sticky quickly
– must be applied repeatedly
– is absorbed during anal sex
– some contain PEG derivatives

Lubricants with effect

I do not use lubricants with cooling, warming, and prickling effects. With these gels, it is often completely unclear which of the ingredients cause this. However, the frequent hint that these gels should not come into the eye should make you think twice about it, before you consider using them.

Silicone-based lubricant

Silicone-based lubricant has the longest durability and is incredibly smooth, so it feels good and is a good all-rounder. They do not become sticky even after prolonged use and are also suitable for massages.
I prefer the silicone-based lubricant Mister B Glide for the anal area, because it lasts much longer and does not have to be applied repeatedly and is also compatible with condoms. Silicone-based lubricant does not contain water and is not absorbed by the anal surface during use.

The downside is that it attacks and dissolves the surface of sex toys with the exception of glass and metal, which can be quite harmful to your health. Furthermore, it cannot be removed with soap and water. A special silicone cleaning agent is recommended.

– smooth, silky consistency
– one application is usually sufficient
– is compatible with condoms

– not to be used with every sex toy
– difficult to remove (not water-soluble)
– slightly more expensive

Massage Oil

As far as massage oils are concerned, you have to try out a few. Most men prefer odorless oils. That’s why I mostly use almond oil. Just be careful not to buy too thick oil, because they are less suitable for massages. Essential oils smell good but are not suitable for the intimate area. You will notice this at the latest when it slowly starts to burn.

I especially like coconut oil because it feels very good on the skin. The smell always reminds me somehow of sun cream.
But massage oils are a nightmare for clothes and bed linen, especially coconut oil does not smell like a bounty candy bar after a few hours. Especially natural oils that remain in the clothes become rancid with time and can leave stains that are hard to remove. After the massage, I would suggest to take a shower or wash your clothes at home as soon as possible.

– does not dry out
– very skin-friendly
– almond oil is odorless
– coconut oil feels great

– condoms can tear
– makes latex porous
– stains in the clothing/bedding can hardly be removed
– avoid paraffin as an ingredient

Oil based lubricants

Oil-based lubricants have a creamy consistency and they never dry out, which is important, for example, during anal play to prevent injuries. However, the oil also makes silicone gloves and condoms porous, which you must take into account.

I prefer the lubricating cream Boy Butter with extremely long gliding ability without drying out. It is oil-based, does not grease, stick and drip. It is made of coconut oil and organic silicone, which is also found in hair conditioners. The cream is homogenized like real butter, and hypoallergenic and is safe for all toys. It washes out of bedding or clothing with water without problems.


As a general rule of thumb, the lubricant should be used up within three months after opening. It does not have to be kept in the refrigerator, but it is advisable to protect it from direct heat or sunlight. A cool cupboard is best. Massage oils have a shelf life of up to one year when stored away from light.

Silicone stains

With silicone, however, there is still a chance that you will get rid of the stain. Simply apply one more swab of silicone to the stain and let it work. Yes, you heard right. Because silicone contains so-called polymers that bond together and the already dried stain can be removed more easily. After half an hour, you can rub the stain generously with hand detergent, leave it to work for 15 minutes and then rinse with water. You will have to repeat this process several times, depending on the stain.